Dagen 213

Saturday.. Not my usual “I-don't-feel-like-doing-anything” day.. But somehow it became this boring, dull and chaffy day. Spent yesterday with Dessi. I got home around 2ish last night. And went almost straight to bed. Not tired but still it was nice to get some sleep. I woke up the first time at 8. I just got up and took my pills. Penicillin and some painkillers. Not for the head but for the mouth.

I hate when you go back to sleep and then you sleep for too long. My head felt like a stone lump. It always does when I go back to sleep after waking up. H was a sleep when I got home and was still sleeping when I got up around 12.
Now 6 hours later I have accomplished nothing :D I filled up my dishwasher.. that's about it :P

And I was going to pick up my books this week, but I didn't really had any time to do it. And I have to order my school literature. Haven't even check what books I need. Motivated? Nope.. Not at all. I have to get back to work in September no matter what. And really I am too sick of it. Not just work, everything. School and work. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Can I just run away? Please...

It's been over 4 months since I last heard from ??. And I have to get it in to my thick skull that it is a lost battle. I lost you somewhere along the line and I have to realize it. It is never one's fault that two people argue so I take my part. Sometimes it is best to leave things as they are and maybe I will learn that from this. Maybe not. I am who I am, for good and for bad. But it is still my loss.. and yours.

So.. can I run away now?? I really need to...