Dagen 167

I really feel like karma came back to fuck me.. Big time :P First I was sick as dog for like a week, almost dead. And now.. I am dead.. I got a tooth fucking my life sooo bad. I even had to go to the dentist, on a Sunday, acute. How fun is that? I hate dentists sooo bad, I really just wanted to cry. But he was sweet. He numbed the tooth and fixed it temporary. It didn't work out to good..

Monday morning I wanted to kill myself. I rather have 5 more kids, tattoo my body blue and black all over and have my whole body pierced before I get a toothache again. (or go back to thee dentist but what to do)

Monday I had my first day of work, how great is that?? I went, all drugged up, in massive pain, did some work and got back home again. (don't ask me how, it felt like I lived in Kiruna somewhere) It feels like shit but really I am in no state to care for others when all I want to do is to kill myself with an axe in the head.

I had a new date with my dentist yesterday. The penicillin had not kicked in and all he could do is give me a big examination and tell me all the things I need to have done. I am not too surprised since I have not been to a dentist in like 7 years. So now I have to just book the times and yeah... I am nooot happy.. But I have to say he was okej. They both were. I had one on sunday, Christer and then one on Tuesday Amel. So maybe it will work out. I have to do 2 (!!!!!) root canals. So I have to spend like 1.5 hoursx2 with Amel, in a chair, numbed up and opening wide. I don't do open wide, I told him that. And he just smiled..:D I was not kidding, I don't think he understood that.

Being first sick and then this has made my home look like a war-zone. It is a mystery how H can just ignore everything, just having work as an excuse. “ I am never home, this is not mine, that is yours, I haven't eaten anything”..and soo on. It would be really nice to get some help and understanding sometimes. But yeah...too much to ask for I knooow.. I wish I was a man sometimes, they get away with everything just having a dick. AND they get to stand up and piss..

A good thing in all this misery is that school is over, I passed all my classes. And it is a very, very good thing, I was nooot in any way doing more school now. I am soo sick of it. Now I will read books for fun, not on command. Biiig difference. Now I will go drink some breakfast. I don't mind, it is good. And that is the one good thing about this. I don't like to eat, anything..:D